So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
