One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
