my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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