I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
