I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
