I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
