My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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