if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
