When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize