Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
