what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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