He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
