great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
