butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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