you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
