It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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