Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
