Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
