just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
