So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
