How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I puked a lego.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize