Its about making memories worth repressing
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
