Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
