He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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