First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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