why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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