Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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