gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
