weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you win again, gameday.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
