she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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