Your face is a jimmy john
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
