What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
