the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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