ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Quick, to the slutcave!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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