I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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