dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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