Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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