party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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