i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
