i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
