I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
