when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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