My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
