i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
