just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
