I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
