That's when you crack a 10am beer
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
