If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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