i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
