i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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