just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
