i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
