I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
