The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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