Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
