Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
