Porn is love you can see.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
