Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize