Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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