Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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