You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
