im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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