I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
