the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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