Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
