out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
