I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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