Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
