I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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