See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
