I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
