i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
