I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
