i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
honey bunches of taint.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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