He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
